FFOMO - Financial Fear of Missing Out

When all the other pieces are in place, the one that's missing really sticks out.

One of the most common questions we hear on Weaving Gold isn’t about tax or returns — it’s about feelings. Specifically, the uneasy sense that “I’m doing well… but am I missing out?”

This question often shows up for people who, objectively, are in a strong position:

• The home is paid off (or close to it).

• There’s an investment property ticking along.

• Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) are being added to consistently.

On paper, everything looks sensible and balanced. Yet the doubt creeps in: “Should we be doing more?"

Which, generally, translates to 'borrowing more money to buy more property'.

This is what we call FFOMO — and it’s worth unpacking carefully before you borrow another dollar.

The problem isn’t the strategy — it’s the destination

Most financial anxiety doesn’t come from making bad decisions.

It comes from making unanchored ones. Choices that aren't anchored in your own, personal plan and objectives aren't being made intentionally. You're trying to navigate to a destination you haven't defined for yourself.

The risks in this are that, without a clear destination, progress can feel meaningless, and comparison becomes irresistible. Given that comparison is a renowned thief of joy, this pathway can leave people feeling deeply uncertain about what to do next.

So, before asking whether doing 'more' makes sense, ask a more important question:

What are we actually trying to achieve?

Is it retiring earlier?

Working part-time?

Funding private school fees?

Feeling secure enough to say no to work you don’t enjoy?

These are lifestyle goals, not investment products — but too often we skip straight to the product. The product, or the solution, needs to help bring you closer to achieving these goals. They're not a goal in and of themselves.

Model the boring path first

Here’s an exercise that almost always brings clarity: Model your future assuming you change nothing.

If you simply keep paying down debt, reinvesting surplus cash, and contributing to ETFs, where does that leave you in 5, 10, or 20 years?

When does the mortgage disappear?

What income could your portfolio support?

When they've done this, the Occam's Razor of personal finance, many people are surprised to discover they’re already on track — or even ahead — without adding any extra risk.

Conversely, when you don’t model this, this “do nothing new” path, you assume progress is slower than it really is.

Doing 'more' often feels necessary only because the baseline hasn’t been measured. This can be especially risky when doing 'more' means 'borrowing money'.

Leverage borrows more than money

Debt is often discussed purely in financial terms — interest rates, tax deductions, returns. But leverage also borrows from less visible resources: time, flexibility, and mental energy.

A larger loan increases exposure to interest rate changes, employment risk, and market cycles.

It can delay choices like reducing work hours, taking a sabbatical, or helping adult children financially. Even if the maths works, the experience of leverage matters.

The real question isn’t “Will this improve my net worth?”

It’s “Will this improve my life — and when?”

Risk versus need: could you, or must you?

Plus, there's another important distinction to consider when it comes to doing more - between capacity and necessity.

Yes, you might be able to service another property loan. You might be able to save more money, take on a side hustle, review the budget a few extra times.

But do you need to take those steps to reach your goals? If your current trajectory already delivers the outcome you want — perhaps just a few years later — then doing more becomes a choice, not a requirement.

Taking on more debt is reasonable when it’s intentional: to bring forward a goal, to lock in long-term income, or to create options and freedom later.

It’s far less healthy when it’s driven by vague discomfort or comparison.

Comparison is a terrible compass

FFOMO is fuelled by selective visibility.

We hear about people who bought early, leveraged hard, and rode a booming market.

We rarely hear from those who overextended, faced prolonged vacancies, or had plans derailed by illness or job loss.

This is survivorship bias at work. The loudest stories aren’t the most representative — and they’re almost never the full story.

Your financial plan should only be judged against your own values and risk tolerance, not someone else’s outcome.

Boring is often brilliant

In personal finance, boring is underrated.

Paying off debt steadily.

Owning quality assets.

Reinvesting dividends.

Keeping costs low.

Staying consistent through cycles.

These behaviours don’t generate great dinner-party stories — but over decades, they quietly compound into resilience and freedom.

For many households, not maximising leverage is exactly what allows flexibility later in life.

A simple leverage decision checklist

Before borrowing more, walk through this list together:

• Do we have a clearly defined end goal?

• Have we modelled our future if we add no new debt?

• Are our cash buffers strong enough for rate rises or vacancies?

• Do we need more risk, or simply feel we should take it?

• Are we aligned on the lifestyle trade-offs this debt creates?

• Do we have an exit strategy if circumstances change?

If you can answer these calmly and confidently, leverage may be appropriate.

If not, the discomfort you’re feeling may be a signal — not a problem to solve with more debt.

The bottom line

Doing more, even when it involves leverage, isn’t inherently good or bad.

It’s a tool — and like any tool, it should be used with purpose.

Don’t add debt to fix a feeling.

Define your destination, understand your baseline, and choose risk intentionally.

Often, the quiet path you’re already on is doing more work than you realise.

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